Is there really "just" friendship
between a man and a woman?
I wonder. :/

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Hold Myself

I know if I kiss you, you wouldn't resist.
So I restrain.
It is torture every time I see you.

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Snowed In

I'm listening to the morning news on the radio, it’s snowing heavily outside and it has just been announced that the weather is only going to get worse and by the minute. It has been advised for all residents to stay home and keep warm.

‘Well, this is not bad’ I think to myself, ‘it means I get to spend time with my woman’. The thought of her brings a smile to my face. I walk into our bedroom and glance at the bed. There she’s sprawled with the sheets barely covering her naked body, still sleeping and snoring lightly. Her dark curly hair a tangled mess on top her head, uncovered from the satin bonnet she always insists on wearing every night but never wakes up with it on. Her face is turned towards me. She looks so young and innocent in her sleep, looking at her, you’d think she’s not a second older than 23. She’d be 38 in 2 weeks. I continue smiling and walk into the bathroom.

I run a hot bath and pour some portion of her favorite bubble bath and bath salt in it. Oh she’s going to love what I have in store for her today. The moment it had been announced that everyone should stay in, an idea had flashed in my head immediately on what to do with my baby. As the water fill the tub to a considerably good level, I turn of the flow and leave the bathroom, allowing the water to cool to a satisfactory point before I dunk her in it. ‘This is going to be so much fun’ I think as a mischievous grin splash across my face and I begin to whistle and walk out of the bedroom , down the stairs heading to the kitchen.

I make breakfast of celery, kale omelet with 5 strips of light pan fried bacon, just the way she likes them. I set them on a plate and pop in the microwave to keep warm while I juice out 2 glasses of pineapple and watermelon. I store those in the refrigerator and head back up stairs. The water should be cool enough now.

I slid into bed with her, matching her form with my body. The feel of her bare skin next to mine never gets old. My reaction to her is instant and I feel myself go fully hard. I run my hand down her right arm as she’s lying on her left side while I nuzzle her neck to get her to wake. She makes a mewling sound and writhes slightly to my touch, pushing her buttocks smack into my erection. I smile and graze her earlobe with my teeth, whispering into her ears for her to wake up. She groans and turns to face me, putting her leg over mine and hugging me. Her breasts plastered to my chest with hard poking nipples. Her face is so close to mine that our lips are barely touching. I doubt we will be able to make it to the bath. I’m in heaven.

*************************************************************************

‘mmmmmmmmmmmmm’ that’s the sound I make as I stretch out my body across my husbands with my hands over his neck. Gradually coming awake, I nuzzle his neck and breathe in his smell. He smells so good, always. I hug him tightly as I still try to stretch out my muscles to relax them. I can feel his bulge strain against my thighs. I smile wolfishly. ‘Hmmmmm baby, what are you doing?’ I whisper as my eyes opens and stare into his. ‘I am only trying to wake you my love.’ He responds, planting a kiss to my lips and running his hands through my hair. I lean into him and deepen our kiss.

As I feel the sexual hunger rise between us, I gently pull out of his arms and break the kiss. ‘As much as I would like to stay here and plaaay with you baby, we need to get ready for work.’ At my mention of work, all sexual fog seems to instantly clear and I curse ‘Shit! I’m going to be so late. Why did you let me sleep in like this and aren’t you late for work?’ I try to scramble out of bed but he chuckles and pulls me back into his arms. ‘There’s no work today baby, all roads are closed cos it’s snowing like crazy out there’ he plants a kiss on my forehead.

‘oh! Well I have to email my boss about this then.’ I smile and wiggle out of his embrace, trying to get out of the bed. Swiftly, he leaves the bed, pulls me up and carries me in his arms. ‘What are you doing?’ I laughingly asked with suspicion laced in my tone. ‘You’d see.’ There’s a mischievous gleam in his eyes and his grin is too wide for comfort. He strides across the bedroom, into the bathroom, and then the scent wafts into my nostrils. It dawns on me what he is about to do. ‘Oh no, you don’t. Don’t do it.’ I excitedly squirm in his arms. ‘Doing it.’ and before I can get out another word, he dumps me in the tubs and roars in laughter.

I screech and curse but I’m not angry. Clearing the suds from my face, I look up at him adoringly and splash some suds in his face. We are both laughing now and splashing water all over the floor.

‘Get in here, you big goof’ My arms are outstretched to receive him. ‘Try and stop me.’ There is a sexual glint in his eyes as he sheds of his shorts and joins me in the tub. We hug and kiss and I wet his hair and face with suddy water. We are giggling like two teenagers and bouncing around in the tub. We play like this for a few minutes and then stop. I lean further into the water, watching him watch me. He’s smiling at me with all his love reflecting in his eyes. God, I love this man so much. I smile back at him.

He picks up one of my foot and starts massaging, gently circling the ball of my foot with his thumb. I close my eyes and sigh in appreciation. He does the same with the other foot and continues for a few minutes. I open my eyes and lean into him for a kiss. I kiss him softly but can feel the passion emanating from both of us. We do not indulge it but share a gentle kiss with my hands caressing the sides of his face. I sit back in the tub and scoop water and pour over his body. We sit like this pouring water over each other not saying a word.

As the water starts to feel too cool, I break the silence.

‘We should wash off honey.’ ‘Ok.’ and he gets up and pulls me to him. I pull out the tub plug for the water to drain and turn on the shower.

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* * * New Years Eve * * * 1

"This is going to be a weird night." I thought to myself as I looked around me. Children of ages ranging 12-16 were standing and chattering about, wearing next to nothing on a very cold monday night. Temperature was as low as 4 degrees and most of the girls had only bikini tops and bottoms on, the boys, shorts and tanks. I was fully clothed with a jacket on and my becky was still freezing. I shook my head and walked into the building.

"Julie, there you are." My friend Rebecca called out as she walked towards me with arms open for a hug. I plastered a huge smile on my face and hugged her while scanning the room with my enthusiasm dropping further, "this is definitely not good." I thought to myself. Rebecca and I have been friends since college and this whole shindig was her idea for spending new year’s eve. She had called a week back informing me that we were going to be traveling out of state to this great new year’s eve party with Jeff, her boyfriend and some of their friends, and had assured me that there would be loads of Michael Ealy's around. That was the convincing point for me.

As a single 27 year old, my parents were already stylishly asking  the dreadful question. They'd say things like "We are so proud of  you and your accomplishments. Your degree, your job and how well you've settled yourself" and at this point, I already knew what was to follow.."All that is left is a good husband that deserves you and would love you. We've asked God to send that man, FAST!" My response is always the same.."Amen oooo, na God hand e dey!"..{shaking my head}. So yes, I jumped at the opportunity of making myself available to the Ealy's of this world on the off chance that I get found.

But there I was, feeling like a chaperone at a prom party with the theme 'Be naked'. I pulled out of Becca's hug, held her at arm’s length and looked her over. "Giiirrrl, you look amazing" I said and grinned at her. Becca is beautiful and she definitely knows how to wear her clothes. "So do you love." she responded and hugged me again. "Come, let me introduce you to everyone." she said as she dragged me towards the group I then noticed at the corner of the waiting room.

That was when I saw him. 





Photo courtesy google.com

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Stirring My Emotions

Ray LaMontagne's voice just does things to me.

His song 'Let it be me' makes me think of friendship, my friends, heartbreak, love, falling in love, my disappointments, my hopes and dreams, God and His love for me.

This song just makes me feel good and I thought I'd share with you guys.

Enjoy

Let it be me by Ray LaMontagne

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A Nigerian is on 'The Voice'?

And he is good too. Nelson Emokpae made it to Team Christina's on the voice singing 'Aint no sunshine'. Oya ooo, make we do wetin we sabi do. When its time to vote, Let us vote!

Watch the video of his audition below or use this link

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Random

I need to break this writers block meeeehnnn...

WAAARRRAAAAHHEEEELLLLL

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Kevin Hart is soooooo hilarious!!!

You know how when you are bored and have nothing else to do, you start browsing or surfing websites looking for something interesting but would not necessarily add value to your life? Well thats what happened to me today.

I woke up feeling out of funk. Felt the rays of the sun directly on my back by 5:30 am and I'm like 'What the heck? Day never suppose break by this time na.' My belly rumbling and feeling like its all tied up in knots..you all get the gist now I'm sure. Anyway, I woke up, tried to read my bible,couldn't. Felt sad about it and decided to watch BigBrotherAfrica. Now more than ever when I needed the wacky a** show to pull me out of the weird funk, they didn't have any interesting videos posted online. More sadness. I decided, ok, I've got loads of assignments, that should keep me busy. Couldn't concentrate on them and still the funk refused to clear. In fact it seemed like it got worse because I started to feel like I needed to cry. At that point I decided I had to do something.

I started blog surfing. Moved from one blog to the other, reading interesting stuff, some very depressing [Why are 42% black successful women still single----> what can be more depressing than this biko O_o?], some funny [what to do to your man on your way to church ---->I'm still cracking up from this] and some completely HILARIOUS. The completely hilarious stuff is the reason for this post. I stumbled on a site called Bossip where I found this video of Kevin Hart and Shaquille O'neal {my goodness, I had no clue Shaq was so hugeeeeeeee :O}. Kevin is a complete goof as you'd find in the video below.

Nothing much to say..as the video will speak for itself so enjoy...hehehehehehe

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The west Vs. The West

For lack of an original title for this post, I came up with the above title 'The west Vs The West'. I know most of you are not as smart as me so I'm going to give a very brief explanation. The west vs. The west is simply, where I am from (the west of Africa) vs. where I live (originally referred to as the west). For all those dolos that still don’t get, it is 9ja vs. Yankee. If you still don’t understand, then please I'd advice you go back to kindergarten and start all over 'ponquem'

The reason for this post is a result of something that happened while in class one day which I have outlined in Scenario 1 below. It got me thinking about how different the educational system is between both places. I'm not even going to bother going into the differences or start comparing the two systems in depth because there really is no point {maybe in a later post, I just might}. Below are a couple of scenes that went through my mind while my instructor (back home they are called lecturer) was doing his bestest to make sure I understand the topic he was going on about.


Scenario 1- Entering a class while the class is on...

Yankee Scenario

Student : hey {to instructor}
Instructor: hey howsit going???
Student :: eeeehhh it's going ok {while swaggering away with cap faced backwards}
meanwhile students are eating cooked food/snacks and drinking coffee/soda

ehn??? U de craze?? for Ulamak's class or Ifos's class? Dem no born you well. Even to chop groundnut sef, you have to hide and do it. You have to even chew gum sef with caution. First of all, you wouldn’t dare sneak in {notice I said sneak not walk} to Ulamak's class while he is already inside and teaching. Only the bold and fearless can even try to attempt it.

Naija scenario

Student tries to sneek in with Ulamaks back turned to the board

Ulamak: a you...come hia! {just as student makes it to the nearest seat and he turns away from the board}
Student : Sorry sir! {note that student is apologizing for an offense he has not been accused of yet o}
Ulamak: so you think you can jus enter my class as you like ehn?
Student : no sir, Sorry sir..
Ulamak: come on will you get out of hia..your mates that are standing outside, do they have two heads?
Student : sorry sir {as he slickers out of the class and other students are hiding and snickering}
Ulamak: come on get out dia. stupid boy {only a boy will attempt this}


Scenario 2- Student doesn’t understand assignment given.

Yankee Scenario

Student : Hey Carl {to instructor}, concerning the lab for last week which is due in this week, I tried loading the server on my mac but can’t seem to get it running. Also the assignment just doesn’t make any sense especially question 2. I think there is something wrong with that question.
Instructor: Really? {Baffled} first of all let’s try to get the server running on your mac.
He goes ahead and helps the student install the server and in the event that he cant get it to work
Instructor: Do you know what James, I'll have a look at this with my mac when i get home, then i'll send you the instructions or links on how to get it fixed ok.
Student : Sure.
Instructor: Now about the question, what don’t you understand?
Student : well it just don’t make any sense to me..
Instructor: ok, well this is what you are expected to do {instructor goes ahead and explains the whole assignment up to the point of almost giving him the answers}.

Naija Scenerio

Truth be told, there is no scenario. Lecturer gives you an assignment you don’t understand, first of all, only someone signing their carry over certificate would go and tell the lecturer that they don’t understand the question or it doesn’t make sense. If you don’t understand, the solution is simple. Google the question {which you'll definitely find there verbatim}. Copy and paste the solution, no need to edit, lecturer won’t know the difference.

Scenario 3 - After finals and receiving your grades.

Yankee Scenerio

Izzie: What? B? why? how could that have happened? {calls up classmate}
Izzie: Hey have you seen your grades for dotdotdot?
random student: Yea, I had an A.
Izzie: Really? {thinking....What the heck? I taught this guy this course}. Ok, I'll talk to you later {rudely hangs up and angrily emails Instructor}


Email:

Hello Professor,
I just saw my grade on blackboard and it doesn’t seem right. I turned in all my assignments and projects but it says I missed a couple of assignments which isn't true. I've been assigned a B grade cos of this and would really appreciate if you have this reviewed ASAP. I can turn in the missing assignments again and forward the initial submission as proof.
Thanks,
A very disgruntled student.

Reply:

Dear disgruntled student, I'm sorry there is a misunderstanding with your grades. I've informed my teaching assistant to investigate this and upgrade scores if necessary. Let me know if there are still any issues.
Best of luck,
A Truly concerned and caring Professor

Izzie{starts enquiring about the TA and get the TA's number. Calls TA}: hey TA, I'm calling about my grades as professor mentioned in his email to us. Has it been looked into?
Nervous TA: Oh yea, you seem to be missing some assignments.
Very angry Izzie: Well, I'm very certain I turned in all my assignments, maybe it got overlooked or something.
NTA: ok Izzie, can you just resend those assignment to me?
Calm Izzie: sure

Izzie doesn’t relent (on both professor and TA) till her grades have been upgraded to A.

Naija Scenerio

After days of burning candles and sleepless nights of 'Ofrima' studies. Grades are out.
Izzie: Tata have you seen your Ulamak's result?
Tata: My dear I had a D oh.. Thank God.
Izzie: Me, I had a D also o. Ah, I really thank God it was not an F. {End of story, unless you want another 2 years added to your years of undergraduate studies}.


THE END.

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Random Ranting

I just went through the most painful 4mins 40 seconds of the day {would have said my life but that would be pushing it, even though it felt like the most painful of my life}. Chineke....the music video I just watched now now almost drove me to tears, with this feeling in my heart that some one was gripping it too tight.

As i siddon de watch this video, all I could think of was 'what the the heck were they thinking?'..both musician, producer, director..everybody involved in the making must have been on some very bad ganja when they decided to make this music plus the video. If to say I just listen to the music for radio, at least I for just off radio after the first 30 secs or maybe manage listen to am to the end. Why? well the chic wey sing the song suppose be my family friend {we all used to play catcher in those days and I and my sibling used to visit their house to eat dodo and run from 'Spike' their dog}.

Like seriously, my heart was beating too fast as I de watch this video...wetin this babe de sing no correspond with wetin dem de act for video..{and the person wey post the video where i watch call am 'super tight video'.migudnez}. I know I'm probably not making any sense right now..well that is because i'm actually hysterical. Chai una no go understand ey..I for post the video here make una see but na out of respect for this chic and her family na im make i no go do am..besides, no need to put you guys through the grueling process I went through. To think I sat and watched this thing for four minutes just because I wanted to see how it will end{really shocked at myself}. True true people, curiosity de kill cat o. my heart is seriously palpitating..i tell you, If you are going through pain over something you can stop or avoid, please desist....

kai....I musto sing and produce music video...{i really cant believe I just watched this..}..and this chic na tight babe o....smh

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No memory

Just now now as I tried to collect some pictures from my blackberry phone that I want to use for my next post, you know how you go through My Computer {not my computer o, but “my computer” on your computer, if you like don’t understand it, that one no 'consign' me} first to navigate to an external storage device to get documents? , well that’s what I did o and noticed this big red line across my screen. Ah Ah, what is this? Abi my laptop wan crash?? Na im I look the thing come notice say na just indicator to say my hard disk memory don de full. {I know i'm supposed to know what that meant jare, but the kayn hunger that is catching me, my brain is really slow in booting jor}

You cannot imagine my shock when I saw the memory space left on my baby…even the memory card on my trium phone has more space than this machine {Yes, I still use throm, na your bizniz? Shuo....(hissing like a razz warri babe)}..anyway as I was saying, my throm has more space than this my compura o.
Then I decided to investigate what could be taking up all the space on this thing. My discovery put me to shame I no go lie. As a masters student, you’d think I’ll be more serious with my studies…chai…God help me…. See the list below in terms of percentage.

i. Movies – 5%
ii. Music -10%
iii. Softwares – 10%
iv. Pictures – 2%
v. Educational stuff – 73%

YES…..I know all you bad belle people were expecting the reverse abi…all of una that don’t like my progress…you will all be caught someday. But you know as a good Christian, it is not good to lie and I don’t want to go to hell fire so let me post the real discovery {sob sob sob}

1. Downloaded text books -0.03% {thanks to 4shared..me? spend money buy textbook?....I’m still waiting for them to finish writing that book I’ll spend my money on…unless its M&B and harlequin, then you are talking}
2. Downloaded class videos – 2.07%
3. Downloaded softwares for school project – 2.5%
4. Downloaded softwares for watching film – 1.5%
5. Files for my money making venture – 3.0% {these are future project I’m thinking about embarking on, whether they are legal or not no concern you. all you need know be say we go jollof enoff when I don hammer, as long as you invest when time reach :D}
6. Pictures – 10% {including school field trips, jollofing times, random pics, the ones I stole from peoples dps, the ones I snap people and them no know..all join}
7. Music -30.5% {now to categorize this one: Church music: 20%; love love music: 35%; razz music (like dem MI, Rihanna, Asa, 2face, Bruno Mars..u know, all those razz people): 45%}
8. Feems (because this one don pass movies o) – 50.4% {no need to calculate this one, take cue from music}

Imagine? When I finish this analysis, I wan cry. Infact I cried...so this is what I spend my time doing? Watching feems (especially Indian feems)..chai..My fathers’ BP will definitely rise when he hears this one....The man that’s hoping I’ll get him a Jet once I start earning the dollars after school. Well papa, don’t worry ooo..there’s always a way….after all, Bill gates no go school abi? {see the crap we use to console ourselves when we start misbehaving...chai...smh}... incase you are one of those dullards that cannot do maths, let me help you with a more picturistique analysis.

If you look closely {as long as you don’t wear gulder bottle for eye}, you’ll notice that the space for text book is not visible at all…..{seriously wailing….sob sob sob sob}…this means I’m finished……CHAI….

Wusai…..hehehehehehehehe….in as much as this analysis is very correct, as a ninja, I still make all my A’s mehn…ask my friends, they can testify….so no shaking ;-)..

BTW-Papi….stop calling me a tout o!!! I am a crème chic!

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